I’ve been trying to blog for ages, I’ve written some drafts and then deleted them, and I’ve published some posts and deleted them too!
In all honestly I feel like I’m at a new stage in my recovery which focuses less on the past and more on the future. When I started this blog, talking about my past and how hard I was finding navigating through poor mental health was really helpful for me because without having the option to do so I felt very alone. I’m just not sure that’s where I am anymore. Sharing details of my childhood and my relationships all feels a bit personal and maybe not as relevant as it once did. For me I feel like it would be more of a benefit for myself and others to improve on recovering from agoraphobia and sharing with people how far in that journey I’ve come and to sprinkle a dash of hope over people who suffer the same when the darkness sets in. I spent more years than I want to accept scared half to death that I wouldn’t have a future and I want to reassure you that this wasn’t accurate. I don’t currently have the life that I’ve dreamt of, but I have hope that I’ll get there, which is something I didn’t have before.
I think it’s likely that I’ll delete this blog and move onto sharing some real life posts on Instagram instead (follow me @alittlebitanxiousblog if you’d like, I am friendless to date!)
Good luck on your own journeys. Thank you all for being there for me through what was a terrible and petrifying time for me – truly couldn’t have survived it without you x